


Triggered

by Project_Miru



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Anxiety, Dirk Likes Disney Movies, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attack, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Todd says the wrong thing, hug it out, trigger word
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 17:52:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13956891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Project_Miru/pseuds/Project_Miru
Summary: Another day at Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. Our two favorite disasters disagree on a case and things take a slightly angsty turn. Can be read as Gen or Brotzly.





	Triggered

**Author's Note:**

> Well this got away from me. Was only supposed to be bout 700 words tops but it kept going. Hopefully this isn't too cringe-worthy; it’s been years since I wrote for anything. Hopefully not too inaccurate, I have attacks and tried to make it as genuine (and brief) as I could. Unbeta-ed and I don't quite have a handle on formatting, just a heads up.

_“I can’t believe you.”_

 

Dirk wasn’t sure how this argument started, one minute they were talking potential leads on their latest case and the next Todd was off on a _completely_ unnecessary tirade.  Glancing down at his cup of tea, the holistic detective backpedaled mentally, trying to find whatever he’d said that was… not-right. He’d merely suggested that the gardener couldn’t have taken the stamp collection because of his rather strong opinions on the digital age. It was far more likely the niece of their client, the one with the hummingbird feeder in her front yard. He’d tried to explain his process to his assis-friend who argued that it was those very same strong opinions that could coerce someone to steal a stamp collection out of spite. The auburn-haired man opened his mouth in an unsuccessful attempt to get a word in edgewise.

 

“No Dirk, You’re _wrong_ -”

 

Dirk’s heart skipped a beat at _that_ word, words dying on his lips. The rest of Todd’s tirade was lost to him as _that word_ echoed in his mind. _WRONG. WRONG. WRONG._ He could here the klaxon alarm that followed each proclamation of _that word._  He could feel those harsh florescent lights blazing down on him from inside the cramped test room. No, this wasn’t fair; he’d gotten out. Twice. Why couldn’t he breathe properly? He gripped his tie, tugging the knot loose. A blank monitor perched on the desk before him, oh God; not the electrodes again. He clenched his eyes shut reflexively.  It wasn’t going to work. _This isn’t how it works._

 

* * *

 

“You never listen, I swear- “

 

And just like that the shorter man ran out of steam _._ Dirk wasn’t _doing_ anything. If there was one thing Todd Brotzman knew; it was that Dirk Gently was constantly in motion. Whether it was wheeling around the office’s hardwood floor or obnoxiously taping his pen (biro he’d insist) on his desk; the man never stopped. Until now that was.

                 

The two had been discussing a case and Dirk, once again, dismissed his theory. He paused in reviewing the current cases report to look up from his computer monitor to see Dirk across the room sitting ramrod at his desk, eyes shut and tie askew. Something was wrong with Dirk

 

“Dirk?” He called, attempting to catch the other mans attention.

 

_“This isn’t how it works.”_

 

The words were barely more than a whisper but echoed like a gunshot through their moderate office space. Shit, it had to be a Blackwing thing. The brunette scrambled from his chair to lean on the adjacent desk. Invading Dirks’ personal space would only make things worse in times like this. They weren’t often, thank God. The taller man’s breathing was ragged, tears were beginning to silently stream down his face. Shit, this was a bad one.

 

“Dirk, Dirk it’s Todd. You’re not there, I’m here, you’re okay.” He let the words flow out, hoping the auburn-haired man would latch on to them. It was painful to see this vibrant man shrink away from the world. Truth be told Todd would rather have compounded pararibulitis attacks over seeing Dirk like this. Tears continued to silently stream down the other man’s face. There was a slight change in Dirk’s breathing, it hitched a moment before his shoulders shuddered.

 

“Dirk, everything is okay, just breathe. Open your eyes Dirk, can you do that for me please?”

 

Slate blue eyes flickered open as Dirk took a deep breath in, hands clenching and unclenching in his lap before circling his waist in a mimicry of a hug. His breathing leveled out slowly, though the tears took a little while longer. His eyes remained downcast, as though embarrassed of his breakdown. It was moments like this that Todd wished Bart hadn’t leveled Blackwing those months ago. He’d have loved to have done it himself, or more realistically had Farah take them down.

 

“You’re safe. Bart destroyed that place. You’re safe.”  Todd reiterated. Dirk mumbled something the shorter man couldn’t quite hear. Almost as though he’d read Todd’s mind, Dirk spoke again.

 

“Wrong, I was _always_ wrong.” His voice cracked as he spoke, one hand reaching up to wipe away his tears only for new ones to take their place. Todd’s heart plummeted in his chest, guilt weighing heavy.

 

“They wouldn’t listen. It doesn’t work like that. It’s _never_ worked like that.” The words seemed to spill out as the taller man seemed to wither. There was a distant look in his eyes before he shook his head, attempting to reassure himself of his surroundings.

 

“Dirk, I’m so sorry. Can, Can I hug you?”

 

Dirk paused a moment, taking in a shaky breath before nodding fervently. Todd was by his side in an instant, stuffing down the guilt he felt as Dirk tensed slightly. The shorter man took the detective in his arms, ignoring the armrest digging into his side. That didn’t matter; what did matter was how he hurt someone he cared for. Again.

Dirk never talked about those years spent in Blackwing, Todd didn’t pry; figuring the other man would tell him in his own time. What he was able to learn over time was enough for him to marvel at how optimistic, how _hopeful_ , the detective still seemed to be. He saw now that that optimism was armor much like the man’s jackets. At some point Dirk managed to dislodge his left arm, wrapping it loosely around Todd’s waist.

 

“Stop that.” The auburn-haired man mumbled, voice muffled from Todd’s collar. He pulled back, red rimmed slate met cerulean as Dirk stared him straight in the eye.

 

“Stop blaming yourself, Todd.” His voice scratchy but steady. How was it that the man was able to read Todd so well? Todd of course wasn’t so quick to forgive himself, he shook his head emphatically.

 

“Dirk, I _triggered_ you. That’s not alright.”

 

“That’s not your fault. You had no way of knowing that would happen. I should have told you bef-”

 

“No, Dirk. Don’t turn this on yourself. _You_ did nothing.”

 

“Well, technically neither did you. Let’s just let it go. You’re fine, I’m fine- _ish_.”  

 

That armrest was getting pretty damn uncomfortable, not that Todd would say anything. He’d stay as long as Dirk needed him to. The other man seemed to sense this as his arm slipped from Todd’s waist, Todd pulled away slowly. He leaned against the desk and Dirk seemed to sag in his seat, energy all but depleted. Todd had a plan.

 

“Hey Dirk, I’d say we’ve done enough for today. How ‘bout we call it a day and head back to the Ridgley. It’s your turn for movie night after all.”

New life seemed to breathe into Dirk as he perked up in his chair.

 

“Anything?” It was going to be another Disney night, God help him.

 

“Anything.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> You can’t tell me that Dirk wouldn’t love a good Disney movie. I have a head canon about him and Lilo & Stitch personally.


End file.
